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Safe Assumptions Men Can Make About Strippers

February 28, 2011

1) They are not working their way through school, unless they’re in the lifetime program.

2) They have at least one kid and usually more. That also means at least by baby daddy who got mad baby mama drama.

3) They have been high in the past 24 hours. Black women prefer weed. White women prefer prescription pain killers and cocaine.

4) Almost everything coming out of their mouth is a lie, probably all of it.

5) They are probably not the neatest, cleanest or smartest people in the world.

6) They are bisexual or lesbian.

7) They are not going to meet you in the parking lot unless you’re Justin Bieber.

8) They will have sex with you for the right amount of money.

9) The fantasy of the sex will be much better than the actual sex because they just want the money.

9) After the sex you will wish you had never spent the money and it will take several days before you stop hitting yourself in the face for doing it.

10) They probably have really ugly and rough feet from dancing in high heels because they are too broke to afford pedicures.

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