Why I’m Thankful For Me

November 26, 2009

Ever since I was a child in grade school I have been a diligent student. Yes I learned a lot of lies from the public education system which is designed to relegate black achievement to the virtual dustbin of history but nonetheless I was able to rise above most others. That put me in a position today where I now have a relatively easy time finding a job even in tough economic times because my tenacity is so much higher than other people’s.

Some people will want to credit my parents for making me study and having a strict regimen. I’m sure that had its benefits. It also caused me a huge social price when it came to friends or at least those people that most people would call friends. There are always trade-offs but this world is not run with facts and science. It is run by social connections. You can be a complete moron if you know the right people and make millions. I don’t wish I had gone that route but if your parents say they want the best for you then that usually means the most money. Parents should be telling their kids to put down the books and go meet some kids outside.

What I’m most thankful for is to finally get a little remuneration for all of my hard work. It’s not enough and I still suffer from racial oppression in subtle and institutionalized ways that will not be resolved in my lifetime. That’s not ok but I do enjoy seeing the people who never studied and could have. Most of them are now completely broke and cannot even pay attention. That was their whole problem from the beginning. Maybe they came from bad families. Maybe they just didn’t care. Maybe they had so many friends and connections that they thought those would get them through. Well it didn’t. You cannot count on people these days. Americans are selfish to the core. Sure there are about five percent of us who care. So what? That’s almost no one.

I’m also thankful that I do not care about money. I enjoy it but I don’t need it. I could care less about money, the purified white abstraction of filth and blackness. I could live on almost nothing with no debt and no kids. I don’t buy expensive clothes. I feel no pressure to behave in certain ways to impress people. I am 100% myself and that is something I could have only given to myself. People hate me for it but who cares? Who cares what kind of car I have? It’s a nice one but I would take once that just run. I could stuff my face all day if I wanted but I eat several small meals a day. I never overeat.

Once consumerism has you in its grasps either from pressure on yourself or from others, it ruins your life and that is how most Americans live their lives: trying to keep up with the Joneses. Not me. Not now. Not ever. The system and culture of waste and excess failed when it comes to me. No one can bribe me or blackmail me. There is nothing material that can be taken from me that I care about. I’ve made mistakes and I am not ashamed of them one single bit. Not anymore. I forgave myself and moved on. If others didn’t then that’s their problem. You can never love someone else until you love yourself and loving yourself is all about expressing yourself and being yourself regardless of the peer and social pressures to conform.

So on this Day of Remembrance for native Americans I am thankful to be able to rub my relative financial success in the face of dumb asses who never studied and though it was cool in high school. This is my reward. Good luck in that soup kitchen line losers. I’ll be chilling in Brazil when this failed experiment of a country collapses and the elite come to collect your souls.

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